At one point, I decided I wanted to return to blogging because I missed writing regularly. I haven’t really done it for a while, partially due to the distractions of everyday life, and partially because I didn’t really have much I wanted to write about. I didn’t really know why the passion to write had left me, but I found it much easier to go watch TV or play a game than to sit down and try to make something with words.
I started blogging originally with the idea that I would do something for friends and family to read that would interest them and give me an outlet for what I had to say. In the end, I found I had this mild discomfort with the whole thing, because I kept having to think about what I wanted to write. I mean, the world was reading it, and despite the fact that the world might not know exactly who I am, they were getting a deeper look into who I was. I was very careful about what I wrote. I mostly linked. And the whole blogging thing became kind of boring for me, as well as the world.
Not too long ago, I moved from a position at work where I was mostly allowed to be introverted, to a training position where I had to be more extroverted. At first, I was nothing but uncomfortable. Mostly before, I was allowed to do my thing, and people would thank me for it. It kind of reminds me from the scene from “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” where Arthur saves everyone from certain doom, and Zaphod tells him so, to which Arthur replies, “Oh, it was nothing.” And Zaphod shoots back, “Oh, was it then? Well forget it.” But I actually liked fading back into the woodwork after that.
There’s been this slow transition since then, where I’ve been more in the spotlight, and I realize I don’t mind attention so much. When I was a kid, I loved attention. My mom was a singer who worked with a few polish bands on and off, and she would often drag me up on stage with her to sing, and I ate up the attention from that.
But what does this have to do with writing? Well, when I finished college, I tried to write. Heck, I had a degree in it, right? But that lack of interest crept in. And it took me this long to realize that it was because I didn’t have an audience. I mean, no one was reading what I was writing. I didn’t really send it out, because I didn’t think anyone wanted to read it. And I think I was also afraid, as all artists are, that I sucked.
So, now, in an effort to find that mojo that writing is, I’m going to be brave and post some things out here. Feel free to enjoy them, hate them, comment on them, so I can understand what you don’t like.
I’ll start at the beginning, kind of. A silly poem I wrote when I was in fourth grade, for what is the Internet for if not self-publishing your own fourth-grade drivel? ;P This actually won first prize in the “Court of the Mystical Rose” poetry contest that year. I owe special thanks to my dad, too, since well after my bedtime on the night before this was due I was sitting there crying and struggling to finish it. He stepped in and helped me and we got the darn thing done. Everyone needs someone to help them meet their deadlines in life.
Anyway here goes…
Hope for tomorrow, bright and true,
‘Cause into your life will come something new,
Sometimes we’re sad and sometimes we’re blue,
So let’s hope tomorrow will be better for you.
If you missed your chance today,
Prepare for it another day,
Tomorrow will be better, true,
Your future dreams depend on you.